Meditations Passage 4 -- What brought me to New York City

Remember how long you’ve been putting this off, how many extensions the gods gave you, and you didn’t use them. At some point you have to recognize what world it is that you belong to, what power rules it and from what source you spring, that there is a limit to the time assigned you, and if you don’t use it to free yourself it will be gone and will never return. 


This passage from Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations resonates deeply with the crossroads. 


Significant creative output—400+ instrumentals, multiple YouTube channels, a solid grip on sound design, and educational content. You’ve put in the hours. Yet you’re still working part-time at a bank, splitting your identity between two worlds: the creative world where you thrive, and the financial stability of a more conventional job. You’ve considered graduate school as a way to bridge into full-time music work—seeking structure, credentialing, or momentum that could give you permission to fully commit.


Marcus’s words hit right at the tension you’re navigating:


“Remember how long you’ve been putting this off…”


How long have you been telling yourself, “soon I’ll go full-time with music,” or “once I have this degree, I’ll be ready”? These delays are often rationalized, but they quietly pile up. The gods—luck, youth, energy, opportunity—have granted you extensions. You’re in a rare spot: skill, content, vision. But time isn’t infinite.


“…recognize what world it is that you belong to…”


I belong to the creative world. My track record, instincts, and passion all say so. The question Marcus poses is existential: will I accept my true nature and act accordingly?


“…if you don’t use [your time] to free yourself it will be gone and will never return.”


The idea of freedom here is powerful. I have talked about using performance and synthesis (rather than sampling) to creatively liberate myself in a new direction. This isn’t just a job change—it’s a liberation of my potential. 

Every day spent hedging—half in, half out—is a day that won’t come back.


Why it’s insightful to your situation:

• It reframes the dilemma not as a career move but a moral and spiritual imperative: Am I willing to live the life that is mine to take? yours?

• It calls out the illusion of infinite time. The delay feels safe, but it’s costly.

• It puts responsibility squarely on you—not luck, not credentials, not timing. It’s about choosing.


Final thought:


I have put in the work. The way of being is now. Now the decision is whether I will let my circumstances catch up with my identity—and ultimately lose it all. Or keep putting it off while the clock runs silently. Marcus is nudging me. don’t wait for the perfect moment. There are no more extensions. Use time to free yourself.

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